Wednesday, June 04, 2008

i love this. :) happy birthday daryl. for being your ever perfect self. you'll never know how much i liked being walked to church. even though it was a terrible rain and we had to take off our shoes to dry off at service. i liked hearing you sing behind me at church. for loving mushrooms and my breakfast box. the girlfriend hy was the best. exam stress and there i was announcing my arrival one day in advance and she didn't even sweat it. she minded me not for watching topchef, using adium, meeting all her friends, watching les mis together while she still had her last paper., going to markets... and making london possible. :) ten days. ten days to be alone. to seek God. to hear Him. to feel Him. to draw near. to rediscover my childlike disposition to life. to leave the past behind. to move on. to forgive, to release. to leave the world behind. it was too tall an order to fill. i came home to see it shatter to pieces. to have that shakey feeling inside that was reminiscent of the worst times. returning the box was painful. getting another. was the last thing i ever wanted. i really ever wanted. it made me scared. it made me angry. it made me want to cry. it made me ever so sure. that this is not what i want. and it made me frustrated. that it's you i'd still go back to. i don't know why God put me through this. i really could have done without it. but i hope and believe in His promises. jeremiah 29:11 is true. God cannot lie. i'm thankful for hongkong. it's me time and mummy time. and grandpa. things are the same. exactly the same. i left for hongkong broken. this time. it's for healing. i hope and pray. that I'll come back happy. that His joy will indeed be my strength. that things. will fall into place. hold me in prayer. please. :) x

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