what i really miss from hkg. i think they'd make the flu go away. i've just been saddled with the tall order of managing a p5 class. eve does 5A, ms na in 5B and me in 5C. i know ms na's more than willing to help but i have no idea what i'm needing help in currently. and of all times to fall sick. the last time i needed to use a nasal spray, you were with me. things are happening twice over aren't they. and now i've learnt to deal. or learning. as the case may be.

thank God for friends at school. jo's in green and angie's in purple. angie's my neighbour, next table to me. we have a grocery system list. jo's in charge of beverages and chocolates. i'm getting cereals and granola and angie gets vitasoy (we all get one everyday, she buys by the cartons) and granola bars and pretzels. it's a lousy system. since we'd all just buy whatever whenever :)

because i have them, friends and not just colleagues, that smile and silly pose is gonna be forever on in the next two years at least. i really do hope. :)

things never happen the same way twice. auntie wan yee's said it. brendon's said it. now azlan says it. they never really do. it was a watch, it wasn't you. we had a confrontation. it didn't end up working out. it was hkg again, this time i cried less. i took a break again. wasn't tokyo this time but london. have you ever considered that this is really not the right one for you? at least right now? that the right here right now. is about getting my life in order with God and finishing my bond properly. the past few days have been so tiring. but they've been good. time out with brendon is always good times. i never fail to feel blessed. he listens, he shares, he advises. and above all that, he loves. never selfish. the right here right now. i've people around me whom i love to run to. :)

i have a cap face! lol. i finally found a cap that doesn't make me look horrid. yay. sigh. it's like something that you always believed and now has been proven to not be true. not that it's a bad thing in this case. but just like in general. lots of things. santa claus, people close to your heart. *shrugs. we had people clapping today at main after we did prince of peace. the feeling of singing it was awesome. but the songs before that got me thinking. about how i am undeserving. yet my king should die for me. the lion in narnia. my head doesnt stay on my head much. my thoughts bring me to places i don't really comprehend. and i zone out a lot. i've had people nudge me too often these few days. auntie wan yee says it's normal. it's an anniversary feeling. those two words. are just ironically painful. i stayed over last night. because it's not healthy to be home alone. mr tomato isn't my best friend no more. stuff toys who have a perpetual smile. *shakes head.

what happens when you realize the memories you packed up to leave, have come home along with you? jetsetting was great. packing, unpacking to pack. and unpacking for a while yet. if i had the chance to change things. you'd be that one constant change.

i love this. :) happy birthday daryl. for being your ever perfect self. you'll never know how much i liked being walked to church. even though it was a terrible rain and we had to take off our shoes to dry off at service. i liked hearing you sing behind me at church. for loving mushrooms and my breakfast box. the girlfriend hy was the best. exam stress and there i was announcing my arrival one day in advance and she didn't even sweat it. she minded me not for watching topchef, using adium, meeting all her friends, watching les mis together while she still had her last paper., going to markets... and making london possible. :) ten days. ten days to be alone. to seek God. to hear Him. to feel Him. to draw near. to rediscover my childlike disposition to life. to leave the past behind. to move on. to forgive, to release. to leave the world behind. it was too tall an order to fill. i came home to see it shatter to pieces. to have that shakey feeling inside that was reminiscent of the worst times. returning the box was painful. getting another. was the last thing i ever wanted. i really ever wanted. it made me scared. it made me angry. it made me want to cry. it made me ever so sure. that this is not what i want. and it made me frustrated. that it's you i'd still go back to. i don't know why God put me through this. i really could have done without it. but i hope and believe in His promises. jeremiah 29:11 is true. God cannot lie. i'm thankful for hongkong. it's me time and mummy time. and grandpa. things are the same. exactly the same. i left for hongkong broken. this time. it's for healing. i hope and pray. that I'll come back happy. that His joy will indeed be my strength. that things. will fall into place. hold me in prayer. please. :) x

london to see the Queen! :) the changing of guards is totally a non-serious event. the military band plays diamonds are forever. well. okay so bond is an English spy. haha. :) it's been mad weather. i left home with a spag top, pullover, socks, pants and half coat and by afternoon it became just the spag top, rolled up pants and everything else on my arm or in the bag. :) i love the afternoons. it's so hot it's painful to be out but absolutely lovely to be sprawled on the grass- anywhere there's a patch of grass. it's terribly irresponsible for me to just pack up and leave. but i realize that i really need it. as much as i didn't want to leave for that whole 4 hours i was having tuition, by the time i got to the departure gate, the tears were just too hard to hold back. it's amazing how things just fell into place like that. being able to find a place to stay, seats on the flights... it can't just be coincidence. was just doing my overdue QT on the flight. and i'm thankful for the reminders. not to judge, to remember that pain is His way of branding the image of Jesus in my life and to remember to hide the Word in my heart so that i am able to have that treasure trove when i face trials. i've been too laid back with memory verses every week. at least one of us is accountable. :/ well you anyway. it's my break. away from you. away from church. a time of refreshing. :) that's my prayer. that i get home a happy girl. and like kaige says, safely. it's so strange to be saying a happy girl. it's as if i'm not happy now. but i am. just happiness plagued with everything else. i just want to be alone. i asked for it. and i got it. :) it's so different tokyo and now. that's thinking about you and forgetting you. i'm never gonna forget but i gotta pack up the memories and move on. wish me luck!

walking into mustafa and being greeted with a good morning was like. yeah. darn right it's morning. hahaha. late night dim sum at swee choon at midnight and random mustafa shopping till 2ish. you asked me about what i'd do after getting married. that was met with an adamant i dont think i'm gonna get married. i wonder if that's my true sentiments. or that it was the direct opposite. i tread on thin ice coming to terms with emotions. a childhood friend's brother proposed to his girlfriend in church. 100 roses, a hundred balloons. it was so lovely. but he's also a lovely romantic guy :) the tears have to stop someday. a fairytale wedding. a princess dream. a girl can wish can't she?

ikea. :) but lemon butter fish was not nice. sigh. or maybe they just gave me a bad piece and i always get very lil chips. hai. meatballs were not very exciting either. chicken wings were normal. and i thought the mushroom soup was probably the best. and ikea's not supposed to be like that. so what could the problem be? me. as it seems. i'm so tired. invigilating this morning for 2h and 15 mins almost took the life out of me. breakfast is pretty darn important. hello everyone please eat breakfast :) teaching tuition for the past two nights at tampines. thank goodness for friends who drive and cabs. getting there by public transport is definitely no-go. just 5 more sessions to go including missing church next three sundays. :/ swimming tmrw with en and jia and making exciting stuffs. and thurs dinner with the girls. then saturday is young adults tea meeting. oh my. things are not slowing down even as practicum draws to a close. but who's complaining? i'm tired. but i'm happy :)

hip diner serves decent food. i'm pretty impressed. it's like billy bombers. made affordable. :) fish and chips were lovely. n because we shared, we tried the mary springs chicken too. the citibank set came with soup and milkshakes! mm. i like the vanilla one. :) strawberry's a lil too sweet. the girls had tong shui for dessert. i gave it a pass. which worked out since i went to chatterbox at mandarin for drinks after that.

a cool and easy. peppermint apple? i can't remember. but it was nice. :) and we had bites.
probably because they were hot and fried but they were good :) 38th floor really makes you want to go again. i still dont have my watch. no watch is plenty of time. time passes fast. but there's just that je ne sais quoi that's missing. i guess it's just not the same. i thought about walking down lonely lane today. and it was scary. i admitted it aloud. it's nice to hear your thoughts and dreams. i learnt to listen. and be slow to action. it's not in my part to do anything. but ganbatte. 'm always gonna be around. :)

sharing with you what's in the hotpot :) golden mushrooms, salmon, mushroom hotdogs, chicken, minced pork, veggies, wolfberries. there's more. somewhere in there :) labour day was fun. just time spent home with family. mummy wants hotpot, she gets hotpot. josh had 4 bowls of rice. thats just disturbing. but he liked dinner. yays. i think cooking is tiring. but therapeutic. i can't describe it. my back aches and my wrists are sore after all the prep but it's worth it. and while i'm doing the prep, it feels nice. if you like something you wouldnt mind doing it? :) today was the last day doing lesson plans! yays. done done done! it feels so surreal. even tummy cramps couldnt stop me from skipping. girlfriend time out, billy bombers milkshakes and cool and easy drinks at mandarin hotel. ahh. this is the life :) it gets a little awkward spending too much time out. but not thinking about it makes things easier. i had a strange dream last night. about someone named daniel and him offering me a cafe latte while he took a coke. which i think is a big deal since i dont like coke. hahaha. very strange. in any case. i'm off to bed. kairos whole day tmrw! :)

:) mad chocolate. well, the original stash looked mad. till there was the office people, the family to give away to. i can't wait to share them with jia and en. i hope we have a committee mtg soon enough before the chocolate umm. haha. i love this shot with mum. she can't do candid shots. which i thought was really cute. this was one of the very few she tried. i wish i went to frankfurt with daddy. i hope i will get to sometime :) finally cleared the last of my observations ytd. it went good. i loved my kids for trying so hard. it was so cute. to see them really just trying their best to keep quiet and pay full attention. it's the first day i've only had to call wx's name once. haha. the cutest. we had caricuture drawing class in sch ytd. ooh he drew me a picture.

aww. :) peter draw. i like the guy. he's funny. genuine. :) and the picture looks like you. staying in school till 5pm on a mad hot day was no joke. but i had my girls. jo and angel and karen. it was nice. very nice. i could stay on in this school. if i had them with me. i'm thankful that angel's my neighbour. i love my aisle. it always gets hard to leave. a 10 week relationship thats ending soon. it's the first labour day that i'm having as a working individual. heh. :) en and i signed up for the 10k yesterday. haha. it sounds suicidal currently. but then when we were deliberating over it. it sounded like good training for nepal and lots of girlfriend time. i can't wait to make those pretty hairbands together. my anklet's become quite a part of me. i think it's grace. a naked wrist and an adorned ankle. everything works out for the good of you and me. :) teaching tuition next week. i hope it works out okay. 'll be missing church for abt a month. :/ i hope it's gonna be okay.

isaiah 55:11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth; it will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what i desire and achieve the purpose for which i sent it.

so on friday i gave in and saw the doctor. :( it was nice that some people asked after me. some people didn't even have the decency to reply my text. i guess i really needed it. we had dinner at mushroom pot. at kallang indoor stadium. it was nice! and i wish i had gone there earlier. there are so many types of mushrooms. and i love them all! then fri was a short day in jb, the last i went was on 19th of jan. it's been a longgg while. then dinner w some at far east before cell. and fish soup at night :) today i was out for the day for bible study, then jia's house for our lil gift packaging for the kairos pple. it's nice to be in their company. and then toa payoh library to only find that the book i want is lost. so we had to go to bishan. then dinner at taka. guess what i had! seoul garden. hahaha. all these come pictureless. i think as much as i enjoy the meals out. it's not the same. :/ i met my cousin in the carpark of all places. hello future sis in law. since he's my elder gor since young.

oh wells. i need some proper sleep. tmrw i need to do work. lots of it. i hope everything's fine for you in work and in school dear :) love,

hello zek! :) here's looking at you. some photo i randomly dug up. it was probably like in early feb when i had sushi with my girlfriend. i have not seen her since practicum started. i know she's cleared all her observations and i still have 3 more to go. In any case, back to the main point. i've been in starbucks more times in this year than i've ever been in sec sch- which was the max by the way. i don't know why we don't do coffee bean but i guess i'm not ready to share my sunrise. zek! i didn't get my promised sunrise? :) i just got a heart attack text from my monster mentor. but i will not bother to talk about it. this is a happy post. :)

so dinner on sunday night was zichar. guess which one i ate? :) there's only 4 bowls and one ngoh hiang. why? cos daddy went to frankfurt already. :( ytd was more work at kallang leisure mall. i made a brochure. :) i love the mac. i love pages. it makes my life so much simpler. ooh. which reminds me. i am also now a little and i mean A LITTLE enlightened about photoshop :) thanks rich! and it was a good time of hanging out on a sat morning. and thanks. for making the first move to say hello and the effort to ask me if i was joining you all for lunch. 5 days in church last week alone. i'm joining the league of extraordinary men and women. no looking back. moving on and moving up! :)

I think i wasted my march holidays. but looking on back, it wasn't such a waste after all :) hello shepherd's pie, baked rice and baked pasta. i ate little to none of it cos i had my course in church :) papa yeo and mama yeo were on leave starting wed. but hey, still calls from the office for both of them. she only got a few. daddy was practically at work. he missed out on afternoon siesta times, had to be prodded to eat his food before it got cold, had to eat dinner later because calls from thailand were coming in every other minute, had to be on the laptop/ blackberry every other minute. sigh. on the brighter side, we had lunches, dinners together almost everyday on leave. yay for family time. doesn't matter if it meant i had to skip doing work to do mad things like being out with them to buy bedsheets. no matter how terrible the food might be, it doesn't matter. and of course sometimes the food was good. like tung lok seafood. :) even then, daddy was on the blackberry. sigh.

and today after bible study, i made an important decision. i decided to abandon my lesson plans and head on out to ecp with daddy and nig. they went fishing. i attempted to blade. for a total of 20 minutes. just going from one end of the jetty to the other. all without falling! yay. the initial part was the worst. when you're unaccustomed to wheels. then it gets easier. when the fear goes away. just like how it would be for all things. when the fear disappears, then can i be made perfect in love. :) praying and waiting on the Lord for that. so after having been hidden in the storeroom lonely and uncared for, these blades saw lovely sun today! :)

they couldn't be done with fishing in 20 minutes. so bye bye blades and hello shoes. trusty running shoes that weren't made for running. these shoes have seen fall and winter with me, lots of trails and running escapades. one more for the record. i jogged a pathetic amount having my hair in the way. i needed something to secure it. and after i managed to find a rubberband in the most unexpected part of the car, i decided i had to run. a proper distance. and so i did. :) 2.4k. wasn't a lot but it was all i could take. i'm physically challenged. i shouldn't push myself too hard. not yet anyway. *hums~"trust and obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey..." it was a good reminder. it was a good run. i still need to clear me up. it's probably true. too little recognition. too little confrontation. it's me i need to deal with. and i will. people. faces. places. memories. baby steps. my lil brother caught a flat fish. daddy got a baby fish. but i know he enjoyed his time. just being away from the world for a bit. just living a little. i'm tired. but i'm happy. :)

the monsoon period is here to stay for a bit. we're seeing whole day rains, intermittent torrential rain, nonstop drizzles. but that doesn't change no thursday dateline for my assignment. haha. monday was a bedok chwee kuey morning and east coast macs for the whole day. it was nice, hiding from it all in a cosy cafe with my friends. lunch was definitely not macs. we wandered out to the hk cafe nearby only to get my honey lemon drink complete with that sticker that comes on lemons. i almost spat out my drink when i saw it. and what did the manager say? oh, the kitchen staff probably didn't see it. no apology, no move made to make my dining experience any less than disgusting. they served us charred carrot cake and explained it as the method of cooking. i've been a waitress once, i don't want to make their life difficult. but to give me blatant excuses as such? you eat those things yourself. honestly. mummy's birthday was monday night. complete with lotus root pork rib mee sua and curry chicken. mmm. and tuesday was a whole day at home making shepherd's pie, baked rice and baked pasta. aunt's off day is cooking day. but i had to be off for a missions course at church. and what time did my day end? 4am in the morning. hello breeks at T2. i could get used to doing my work at the airport. i like it. a lot. :) cafe lattes and bbqchickencheese sandwiches. we're crazy but not so much i don't think. haha. assignment's a nightmare. but no one said i had to live it out as one. we're having fun working on it.
and hey you. is it so hard to be congenial? be strange if you want. but how hard is it to find it in you to be polite. sigh. God speaks comfort. you instill fear in me. but really. whom shall i fear when i am Yours. :) when the going gets tough, the toughness gets trained. continued waiting upon Him. less of an action, more of an attitude. :) everyone's home on holidays. yay familytime! :)

practicum has been... too slack. sure it's crazy doing lesson plans, being involved in school activities. but maybe it'd because i havent actually taught yet so it feels that way. i had to go on a chinatown heritage tour on tues with the p3 kids. it was a terrible day for me. from 7 in the morning till 530pm. then kairos course at church till 930 pm. i was flat out tired. but it was good. as the Lord saw me through it all. fri was the annual sports carnival. it's a new thing where its bye bye sports day and hello sports for everyone. :) i liked the idea. a lot. and it really works. i think all schools should adopt it. n we had prata men on site for the teachers' lunch. from gayatri restaurant. the pratas were nothing much to speak of. but the curries were decent. :) it was nice. just sitting there hanging out with my colleagues. nothing short of grace. to be where the teachers are nice. :) daddy's home today. 'm glad i had family time. instead of being where i won't be appreciated. qu'est-ce que c'est sur vous. i really don't know. i need a break. and thank goodness for the march hols next week and kl maybe. yay. :)

i sleep better with chipster!

to ntuc we go! to grab a chipster so!
oh? where have all the chipsters gone?
the favourite flavour that i'm so fond?
a special? is my eyesight to fail? i see it true!
just two dollars and forty five cents oh yes any flavour will do!

must i really? well, for my sleep, i surely

must get some chipster. or i'd be playing twister.

and that wouldn't do. because at school, i cannot play the fool.

how about a taste test? ARHMMM.

YUMM. SOMEEEE. YUMM.

okay. that made my day.

to the checkout counter it is! to pay, to pay for this.

ahh. i sleep better. no more chatter.

KRRRUNNNCH.

'll brush my teeth in the morning :) nights!

my wonderful weekend. wed night was a nightmare. the weekend started on thursday really. when we all hung out to do the audio clip. 3 girls and a boy who makes for easy work. everyone's so readily willing to help that it's amazing. efficeincy being the key, perfectionism being the middle name. we all had ideas, we all wanted to do it well. and we had fun :) a cow mooing, a doorbell press, a scray sound effect, a plunge into the water splash. sigh. i'm missing it already. friday was a mad day in school with the service learning projects. of which most of the time before 12pm was rushing for the 100% assignment submission. and most of the time after 2pm being waiting for the girls. that was some sticky situation. but i think we'd iron it out okay. :) i went home for a nap first before shopping. i like shopping alone. it gets to be hard to decide on stuff sometimes when you're alone. but i think i like the therapy. :) growing older doesnt always necessarily have to mean getting used to being alone. but in my case, that's just it. and it's not such a bad thing once you get used to it. being happy being alone. that's maturity? i wonder. saturday was my nature walk. and it was the first time bringing out girls from the girls' home. it was intimidating initially. but thank goodness for my group leaders, for randolph. things were a lot easier. :) cooking tong shui after that at liz's place was also fun. most things i attempt for church are first tries and by God's grace they work out okay. :) and the housewarming at hweilin's place in buangkok was lovely. my girls, their madness, the conversation. i like to be the one outside looking in. i dont like to be the one talking. and that's just it. they let me be who i am. what i like. i like the company. i could live without it i suppose. but yeah. fellowship is impt. and i'm glad i make the effort. but that meant seeing daddy only for 5 minutes this weekend. sigh. he mistook the timings for his flight and went there at 9am only to find out it was to be at 2pm. silly dad. he's coming home this friday. i wanna stay home to hang out with daddy. :) saturday hotpot! yay. miso? i share with exco. :) sunday's tong shui, chin chow and longan and iced cocktail event was brilliant! 777 in total. for 130 bowls? there's no business like church business. well. cos no one talks business in church. love offerings they are. :) i like serving in church. doing the things that make me happy. the walk to the mrt was strange but nice. it's a stark reminder of the things that are. but a good reminder that it's a work in progress with God. i'm a work in progress. are you? :)

the laptop has been reformatted and given a new lease of life! albeit a rather empty one currently. cny has been my nightmare. what with food poisoning lasting for a whole week. and the positive thing about it? it forced me to take a break. knowing my limitations and not do too many things at any one point in time. thank God i had enough strength to make a bigggg carrot cake stuffed full of ingredients. He gave me Nigel who was more than happy to help with grating carrots and chopping waxed meat. :) but making that also meant that i ran a temperature, had to be wrapped up in a comfortor even in the full heat of the afternoon. it also meant that by the evening, i was reduced to tears and lying in bed. my back ached so bad it was unbelievable. it's the first year ever that i have missed the mandatory chinatown shopping after reunion dinner. sigh. even so, my full body detox did not stop me from a 7 course dinner for 3 at jumbo and 2 days later an 8 course dinner with family at jumbo. hahaha. well. some things you just have to do. you only live once ;) it's been a crazy time. ping ping's given birth to lil baby clyde, joey's away from camp on counselling, uncle manu had already passed on a few days back, i found myself at the airport again last weekend. friday was a jam packed day starting with 830 lessons, lunch at the cathay, doing work at starbucks, kallang macs, meeting some stranger at tiong bahru to get a travel charger for the cellphone, dinner with steph, cellgroup, supper with jo and grace. i only got home at 1am. tired? yes. happy? yes. life's not bad. could be better but hey, who's complaining for now? :)

peanut frenzy part II. even having a bottle rejected still leaves me feeling like it's NOT enough. but well. i think i'm done with the oven for a while. reunion dinner's gonna be a biggg thing. and i doubt i can make my carrot cake anymore. :( i've got more impt things to worry about. like taking out my stitches. sigh. what constitutes wisdom. definitely not -that- tooth. :)

just another of them whampoa dinners. i like it. a lot. it was a rainy sunday and half the youths had lunch together at nihon mura. i wanted to go too. but a promise is a promise. and trudge thru bugis village i did. it was mad. but i came out with a happy fuschia dress for cny. my shopping trip was fruitful. hahaha. and my girlfriend got herself some pretty clip on earrings. and where else to rest my achy back and swelling gums but sakae. :) lots of yummy sushi and a therapeutic time of sharing. i'm keeping you in prayer. and hoping that you'll cast all your cares on Him who cares for you. :) i'm still here only because i do that. no other way. trust and obey babe. have yourself a good family trip. you deserve the rest.
and this deserves special mention. haha. my amk hawker centre carrot cake is back! :) it's not TO die for. but it's good enough to queue up for. it's pricey. and i still like the one the old man fries with lots of chye poh. but well. it was nice to see the old hawker centre back again. i miss breakfast with you.